Tag: love
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Recognising the Thread
What is something you wish you could tell your 20-year-old self? At 20, I thought life was a linear progression. You chose your path, dedicated yourself to it, and then walked it. The challenge was to make the right decision early, commit to it, and stay faithful. At 20, I knew what my passions were.…
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The Cost of Being Always Available
Write your guide to setting healthy boundaries in relationships. I am not sure I am qualified to write a guide to healthy boundaries, except as someone who learned them too slowly. For 20 years I was a parish minister. That meant working in a caring profession. People had real needs. Crises happened. There were weddings,…
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The Truest Sentence
What is a fear you’ve overcome — and how did you do it? I have often been afraid that I do not have much to offer. I sit down to write and wonder whether the thought is too ordinary. Someone else has probably said it better. Someone else has probably said it with more learning,…
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Soulmates
Do you believe in soulmates? Why or why not? A soulmate and a best friend are not the same. A best friend is someone you trust, enjoy, rely on, and choose to share life with. A soulmate is someone who reaches something deeper in you: someone whose presence feels like recognition, not just companionship. A…
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Listening to Fear
How do you handle fear and self-doubt? I have faced plenty of self-doubt over the years, mainly in the form of imposter syndrome. When I started my doctorate, I had a nagging sense that I would be found out. I felt as though they had let me in by mistake. Not a clerical error, but…
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To Be Honest
What is a word or phrase that annoys you? There comes a time in every conversation when someone takes a deep breath, lowers their voice slightly, looks you in the eye, and says the three words that should make every sensible person reach for cover. “To be honest…” At which point I always want to…
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It’s a Gift to Exist
What is a simple pleasure in life that brings you joy? I have not always understood this, but walking is one of the great simple pleasures of life. Not walking for fitness, though that matters. Not walking to get somewhere, though that helps. Just walking. I often follow the same route. The dog beside me.…
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A Single Day
What’s a book that completely surprised you? Years ago, a writing teacher recommended Anne Tyler’s Breathing Lessons. It had won the 1989 Pulitzer Prize for Fiction, so I knew it came well regarded. Even so, I read it mostly out of respect for my teacher. Then I loved it. I wrote a few days ago…
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The Wealth of Less
What are the biggest benefits of minimalist living? My father started each day with a cup of tea. The cup was huge. Not quite a mixing bowl, but close. On it were the words: I’m not greedy, but I want enough. I never knew the story behind that cup, but I understood the joke. It…
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This Is How I Mean It
What are your favourite emojis? In years to come, what tales I’ll tell future generations — or anyone who will pause long enough to listen. Because all young people should know what shaped their world, and which small yellow faces were involved. “Call that communicating?” I’ll say. “You should have seen us before emojis.” They’ll…
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The Conversation I Keep Returning To
What topics do you like to discuss? This blog began as a way of paying attention. After church on Sunday, I often found myself still thinking about the sermon while the rest of life moved on: lunch, emails, conversations, Monday’s work. Writing gave me a way to sit with the message a little longer. It…
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On Risk and Honesty
When is the last time you took a risk? How did it work out? The last time I took a risk was a couple of days ago, when I wrote in my blog about a time I should have said no. Writing about it felt risky. Not dramatically risky. But still, it was a risk…
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When I Should Have Said No
Write about a time when you didn’t take action but wish you had. What would you do differently? When I was in theological college, I worked on weekends as a student minister in a church. My senior minister was very conservative, authoritarian, and very forceful in his opinions. At the time, we were building a…
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The Places That Leave Me Cold
What place in the world do you never want to visit? Why? I love visiting new places. Often they are not the places other people expect. I have travelled on every continent, including Antarctica, and some of the places that have most moved me were not the polished or well-known ones. They were places with…
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Respect
Describe a positive thing a family member has done for you. About fifteen years ago, my siblings and I persuaded my parents to write down the story of their lives. Not memoirs. Not for publication. Just the memories and family truths that would otherwise disappear with them. They were reluctant, but they did it. What…
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In Ten Years’ Time
Where do you see yourself in 10 years? In ten years’ time I will be long retired. People will no longer be coming to my office each day looking for feedback, advice, or a decision. I will have joined the long line of those who have gone before me: remembered by some, unknown to those…
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Five Things That Bring Me Happiness
What are 5 everyday things that bring you happiness? What brings me happiness is not usually anything dramatic. More often, it is the ordinary things I return to again and again, the parts of life that make me feel most alive. Nature is one of them. I love bushland. Bushwalking is a great source of…
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What High School Really Taught Me
Describe something you learned in high school. When I think about what I learned at high school, I do not first think of subjects or classrooms. I think of people. I think of friendship, and of the strange way those early bonds can work themselves into your life so deeply that you do not fully…
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Learning to End the Day
Describe one positive change you have made in your life The most important changes are not always the ones that announce themselves. Some arrive quietly and only later do you realise how much good they have done. Learning to go to bed earlier was like that for me. It does not sound like much, but…
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Making a Text Live
If you could be a character from a book or film, who would you be? Why? About ten years ago we did a dramatised reading of Marilynne Robinson’s Gilead. I invited a university lecturer who had written his PhD on Milton’s Paradise Lost to come as a literary expert, and a friend who was a…
The Afterword 