The Afterword

Tag: love

  • Too Busy Enlarging Our Lives to Live Them

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    Peter
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    If you could erase one trend from history, what would it be? If I could erase one trend from history, it might be the belief that bigger is always better. Bigger houses. Bigger cars. Bigger companies. Bigger cities. Bigger economies. Bigger audiences. Bigger ambitions. We have learned to treat growth as proof of health and…

  • Being Needed and Being Whole

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    Peter
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    What’s a chapter of your life you’d title “The Hard Years”— and what got you through it? People often say that a person’s forties can be the hardest years of their life. That was true for me. I would call that chapter The Hard Years. Not because everything collapsed, but because I came face to…

  • Where Would I Live?

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    Peter
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    If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be? I’m tempted to name a place I’ve never been. Costa Rica. It keeps popping up in my feed, which probably says as much about the algorithm as it does about me. But I am intrigued. The prompt asks, “If you could live anywhere…

  • Before The Problem Starts Shouting

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    Peter
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    What’s a lesson you’ve learned recently that shifted your perspective? Problems often speak before they shout. That is something I have been learning recently. Looking back, there have been situations where the signs were there early in the piece. They were not dramatic. They were not disasters. No alarms were ringing. But there were small…

  • More or Less

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    Peter
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    What do you love now, that you hated when you were younger? When I was younger, more seemed better. I loved to read, and building a library was something I valued. Book by book, shelf by shelf, I watched the collection grow. There was satisfaction in it. A growing library felt like a sign of…

  • Keep It Simple

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    Peter
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    What’s the best advice you’d give to someone younger than you? The best advice I would give to someone younger than me is this: keep things simple. That may sound too plain to be useful, but a lot of wisdom is plain. We often make life harder than it needs to be. We overthink, rehearse,…

  • Making It Happen Without Making a Fuss

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    Peter
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    Who are you most inspired by? I am increasingly inspired by people whose names never appear in headlines. They are the ones who turn up, notice what needs doing, and do it without making a fuss. Brilliance has its place. We need gifted people. But as I get older, I find myself more deeply moved…

  • Practical Compassion

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    Peter
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    What is one way you have grown this year? One way I have grown this year is by learning that compassion has to become practical. Over the years I have become increasingly aware of how much pressure some students carry. International students can carry loneliness, financial stress, uncertainty about accommodation, worries about family, the need…

  • Recognising the Thread

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    Peter
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    What is something you wish you could tell your 20-year-old self? At 20, I thought life was a linear progression. You chose your path, dedicated yourself to it, and then walked it. The challenge was to make the right decision early, commit to it, and stay faithful. At 20, I knew what my passions were.…

  • The Cost of Being Always Available

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    Peter
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    Write your guide to setting healthy boundaries in relationships. I am not sure I am qualified to write a guide to healthy boundaries, except as someone who learned them too slowly. For 20 years I was a parish minister. That meant working in a caring profession. People had real needs. Crises happened. There were weddings,…

  • The Truest Sentence

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    Peter
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    What is a fear you’ve overcome — and how did you do it? I have often been afraid that I do not have much to offer. I sit down to write and wonder whether the thought is too ordinary. Someone else has probably said it better. Someone else has probably said it with more learning,…

  • Soulmates

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    Peter
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    Do you believe in soulmates? Why or why not? A soulmate and a best friend are not the same. A best friend is someone you trust, enjoy, rely on, and choose to share life with. A soulmate is someone who reaches something deeper in you: someone whose presence feels like recognition, not just companionship. A…

  • Listening to Fear

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    Peter
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    How do you handle fear and self-doubt? I have faced plenty of self-doubt over the years, mainly in the form of imposter syndrome. When I started my doctorate, I had a nagging sense that I would be found out. I felt as though they had let me in by mistake. Not a clerical error, but…

  • To Be Honest

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    Peter
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    What is a word or phrase that annoys you? There comes a time in every conversation when someone takes a deep breath, lowers their voice slightly, looks you in the eye, and says the three words that should make every sensible person reach for cover. “To be honest…” At which point I always want to…

  • It’s a Gift to Exist

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    Peter
    in

    What is a simple pleasure in life that brings you joy? I have not always understood this, but walking is one of the great simple pleasures of life. Not walking for fitness, though that matters. Not walking to get somewhere, though that helps. Just walking. I often follow the same route. The dog beside me.…

  • A Single Day

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    Peter
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    What’s a book that completely surprised you? Years ago, a writing teacher recommended Anne Tyler’s Breathing Lessons. It had won the 1989 Pulitzer Prize for Fiction, so I knew it came well regarded. Even so, I read it mostly out of respect for my teacher. Then I loved it. I wrote a few days ago…

  • The Wealth of Less

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    Peter
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    What are the biggest benefits of minimalist living? My father started each day with a cup of tea. The cup was huge. Not quite a mixing bowl, but close. On it were the words: I’m not greedy, but I want enough. I never knew the story behind that cup, but I understood the joke. It…

  • This Is How I Mean It

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    Peter
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    What are your favourite emojis? In years to come, what tales I’ll tell future generations — or anyone who will pause long enough to listen. Because all young people should know what shaped their world, and which small yellow faces were involved. “Call that communicating?” I’ll say. “You should have seen us before emojis.” They’ll…

  • The Conversation I Keep Returning To

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    Peter
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    What topics do you like to discuss? This blog began as a way of paying attention. After church on Sunday, I often found myself still thinking about the sermon while the rest of life moved on: lunch, emails, conversations, Monday’s work. Writing gave me a way to sit with the message a little longer. It…

  • On Risk and Honesty

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    Peter
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    When is the last time you took a risk? How did it work out? The last time I took a risk was a couple of days ago, when I wrote in my blog about a time I should have said no. Writing about it felt risky. Not dramatically risky. But still, it was a risk…