If you could erase one trend from history, what would it be?
If I could erase one trend from history, it might be the belief that bigger is always better. Bigger houses. Bigger cars. Bigger companies. Bigger cities. Bigger economies. Bigger audiences. Bigger ambitions.
We have learned to treat growth as proof of health and success. An organisation that expands is thriving. A salary that rises is progress. A house with more rooms is an achievement. A life filled with more activity must be a fuller life. Perhaps history would look different if “enough” had been admired as much as “more.”
The trouble with more is that it has no natural stopping point. What once felt generous soon becomes normal. The larger house creates new expenses. The successful career creates new obligations. The growing organisation develops more layers, more distance and more bureaucracy. Each gain produces another expectation.
Enough is harder to recognise because it cannot always be measured. Size, income, output and attendance can be counted. Wisdom, beauty, trust, belonging and contentment cannot.
Jim Parsons has spoken about the strain he experienced during his years on The Big Bang Theory. He described himself as disciplined and hardworking, but also driven by an internal list of things he felt he had to complete before he could relax and believe he was ready. Looking back, he said that he made himself miserable at times and missed “tons of life.” That phrase exposes the hidden cost of bigger.
Success is usually measured by what has been gained: money, recognition, productivity, achievement. It rarely measures what has been lost: rest, presence, friendship, spontaneity and ordinary joy.
Discipline can become compulsion. Responsibility can become anxiety. Excellence can become perfectionism. A person can become very successful by every visible standard while becoming less able to enjoy the life that success was meant to provide.
A larger life is not necessarily a better one. A better life may be one with fewer demands, deeper relationships, more attention and a clearer sense of what is sufficient. The danger of always seeking a bigger life is that we may become too busy enlarging it to inhabit it.
The Afterword 
Leave a comment