How do you make time for self-care?
When I was younger, I did not really understand the importance of maintaining a car. At the time I was a student and had very little money. I put petrol in the car, checked the oil and water every so often, and more or less assumed the rest would take care of itself. It didn’t.
Years later, at a big birthday celebration, my sister made the rather funny observation that I had once tried to invent the world’s first maintenance-free car. She had a point. She had noticed something I had not yet learned: anything of value needs care. You cannot simply assume that because something is still going, it will keep going forever.
I think I made the same mistake with myself. For many years I had a tendency to keep pushing myself. Work a little longer. Study a little harder. Do one more thing. Surely a bit more effort would produce a better result.
As a student, I often thought that another couple of hours of study would mean another couple of hours of learning. In retrospect, a good night’s sleep would have helped me more.
But more is not always better. I have learned that slowly over the years. These days my car gets serviced regularly and repairs are done when they are needed. I have also become much more intentional about putting some maintenance rhythms into my own life.
I go to bed early and rise early. That works well for me, although it does mean I tend to fade quickly at night.
I spend about an hour each morning writing. I value that time enormously. It gives me room to think and reflect before the day really gets going. Somehow it settles me.
Soon after sunrise I take the dog for a walk. I love that part of the day. The air is usually crisp, the streets are quiet, and there is something wonderfully simple about walking together before everything becomes busy. That discipline in itself helps keep life in proportion.
I also enjoy listening to podcasts. I find other people’s ideas and knowledge energising. That has reminded me that self-care is not always about switching off. Sometimes it is about being stimulated, learning something new, or having your curiosity stirred again.
None of this is particularly dramatic. It is just maintenance. I think that is what I misunderstood when I was younger. I thought maintenance was something you did once something had gone wrong. Now I see it differently. Maintenance is often what you do so that things are less likely to go wrong in the first place.
A car can keep running while being neglected. So can a person. But functioning is not an end in itself. Bodies need sleep. Minds need space. Inner lives need attention. Curiosity needs feeding. Relationships need time.
Most things worth keeping need maintenance. Including us.
The Afterword 
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