Tag: life
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The Teacher Who Let Me Learn
Who was your most influential teacher? Why? My most influential teacher was Mrs McLean. She was young, recently back from Canada with her husband, and drove a Mustang they had imported. To a high school student, that alone gave her a certain mystique. But that is not why she mattered to me. She mattered because…
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A Gift Finding Form
What was the best compliment you’ve received? The best compliment I received was not praise for something I had done, but recognition of something I was becoming. I went to theological college because I wanted to study the Bible. I was hungry to learn, but I never imagined candidating for ministry. I am a fairly…
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Modes of Encounter
You’re going on a cross-country trip. Airplane, train, bus, car, or bike? Every trip says something about the person taking it. That’s what I think. Not in a grand psychological sense. Just in the small way choices reveal us. The pragmatist books the plane. The romantic takes the train. The free spirit wants the car…
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The Things I Come Back To
What strategies do you use to cope with negative feelings? I don’t have a toolkit for coping with negative feelings, at least not in any formal sense, but I do know what fits the way I am wired. Over time I have learned to return to a few simple things. Prayer is one of them.…
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A Kind of Flow
What activities do you lose yourself in? I lose myself in writing, walking, and sport, and each of them impacts me in a different way. Writing often gets hold of me. It can be an idea, a life story, a poem, a short story. Something catches, and once it does I can lose all track…
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Beyond Signs and Rituals
Are you superstitious? A few years ago, in Beijing, I noticed signs in public places warning against superstition. At first I assumed they meant religion, because that is often the Western reflex: if someone believes in something you do not, just label it superstition and carry on. But that was not what these signs meant.…
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Alert to the Edges
Which animal would you compare yourself to and why? I am like a border collie in the sense that I am attentive, relational, and usually aware of what is happening around me. I tend to notice the dynamics in a room, sense when there is tension, and think about how people might be brought onto…
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The Question on Repeat
What is one question you hate to be asked? Explain. My current most-hated question is, “So—when are you going to retire?” My father asks it every time I see him. He’s ninety-six, and he asks it with the casual confidence of a man who thinks this is a normal question, like commenting on the weather.…
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The Loss That Changed Me
What experiences in life helped you grow the most? I grew a lot the day I realised I had been scammed. I was older when I bought an apartment as an investment, and I trusted advice that seemed sensible at the time. A friend had recommended a financial adviser, and he showed me a number…
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The Word I’d Ban (For Now)
If you could permanently ban a word from general usage,which one would it be? Why? It’s just a word, right? A throwaway word.A quick word.A word people use all the time and think nothing of. So why get worked up about one word? Because words are not nothing. Because words shape what we see.Because words…
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What He Needed Wasn’t a Lecture
What advice would I give my teenage self? I don’t think I’d give him a grand speech. I’d try to be a person he could trust. Older me: You don’t need a lecture.Teenage me: Then what do I need?Older me: People who will listen properly. People with wisdom. People who take you seriously and help…
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The Gift I Didn’t Expect
Share one of the best gifts you’ve ever received. My grandfather died when I was seventeen. It was an industrial accident, and it came out of the blue. One minute he was there, the next minute he wasn’t. He died the day before I stared university, so the next few weeks were hard. Grieving on…
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Patriotic, Not Nationalistic
Are you patriotic? What does being patriotic mean to you? I’m patriotic, but I’m not nationalistic. Nationalism, as I understand it, is loyalty sharpened into superiority. It needs an “us” that feels threatened, and it often looks for a “them” to blame. Patriotism is different. Patriotism is love of home—paired with responsibility. It isn’t blind.…
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P Plates, No Plates
Have you ever unintentionally broken the law? At seventeen I spent a summer working in a used car yard. I’d only just got my licence, so I was on my P plates—back when they were wired onto the number plate, long before magnetic ones made life easy. The boss told me I could take whatever…
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Tall, Dark, and Silent
If there were a biography about you, what would the title be? The first thing that comes to mind is something someone said about me years ago: “Tall, dark and silent.” It was meant playfully, not cruelly, but it probably caught something true about how I occupy a room. I’m naturally reserved. I don’t speak…
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The Shape of a Conventional Life
What were your parents doing at your age? At my age, my father had been retired for about eight years. He’d spent decades as a civilian in the Australian Navy—dockyard work, public service, a steady and conventional path. But he didn’t retire because he ran out of things to do. He retired because he ran…
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Dream Home
Write about your dream home. I have never really dreamed about a home. Maybe that’s because I value other things. Maybe it’s because I’ve been out of the market for most of my life. More likely it’s because a home, for me, isn’t meant to carry the weight of aspiration. A home embodies values. It…
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The Day Radio Beat Homework
You get some great, amazingly fantastic news. What’s the first thing you do? I tell the right person first. Not by email. Not by text. No social media announcements. If it’s truly great news, it deserves a voice. It deserves someone on the other end who can hear it properly — and share the moment…
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Hunting for Gems
Are there any activities or hobbies you’ve outgrownor lost interest in over time? I used to spend hours in the city, moving from one second-hand record store to another, scanning the shelves for comedy albums. Not music this time—comedy. Victor Borge. Peter Sellers. Shelley Berman. Bob Newhart. They were old even then, and that was…
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On Being “On”
Do you need a break? From what? I live with tension. Some days I’m tired and I long for a break. There are always things happening for people: students facing mental health challenges, students in financial crisis, the organisational imperative of keeping things running smoothly, strategic decisions that can’t be put off. It can be…
The Afterword 