What Each Decade Taught Me

How do significant life events or the passage of time
influence your perspective on life?

When I was 17, I thought focus was a virtue. Cut out distractions, study hard, give yourself to the things you valued. I did that. I achieved. But I also felt empty.

In my twenties I worked at a major bank. It was good experience, mostly because it forced me to meet all kinds of people. I started to learn that people mattered more than achievements. At the same time, I felt left behind. I had three degrees and nothing in the bank. As friends married, bought homes, and started families, I watched house prices rise and wondered what my future would look like. Somewhere in that worry I made a quiet decision: my life would be shaped by meaning, not acquisition.

In my thirties I finished study (for the moment) and got married. Those years taught me how to love another person and think about their needs, not just my own plans. There were meaningful achievements and significant regrets. Sometimes I look back and shudder. But we made it—mistakes and all.

My forties were heavy. Full-time work and doctoral study at the same time. Some of my school friends started retiring while I was still trying to scrape together a house deposit. It was stressful, but I enjoyed the work. I learned that a full life can be demanding and still worthwhile.

In my fifties I learned how to be an executive leader. I didn’t apply for the role; I was asked to step into it. I felt inadequate, then slowly grew into it. I’m still grateful for the people who saw leadership qualities in me before I could see them myself—and for the mentors who helped me mature.

My sixties have been some of the most satisfying years of my life. The hard yards have mostly been done. The work has been meaningful. We finally managed a deposit. Nothing about it felt instant, but it felt real.

And now, looking ahead, I’m surprisingly content. I have people I enjoy. I have meaningful interests. I have good health. Time hasn’t made life simpler, exactly—but it has made my values clearer. If the younger me thought the goal was achievement, the older me knows the better goal is a life that holds meaning, love, gratitude, and enough steadiness to share it.

Daily writing prompt

How do significant life events or the passage of time influence your perspective on life?

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