Tag: family
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From Pet to Companion
What’s something you do completely differently from how you were raised? We are dog people and have had dogs for most of our married life. Not all of it. There was a ten-year stretch when we were renting and persuading a landlord to accept a dog was almost impossible. That was before the laws changed.…
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A Platform of Kindness
What’s the kindest thing someone has ever done for you? Every Sunday my grandmother arrived with lollies. There were enough for all of us, and they were divided with great precision. At the time, that was probably what I noticed most. Grandmother had arrived. Grandmother had lollies. Life was good. I understood much less about…
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The Week Someone Else Became Me
What’s the weirdest coincidence you’ve ever experienced? I have always had a fairly naïve faith that if you tell the truth, things will eventually sort themselves out. One small and stupid episode from many years ago shook that confidence. I received a court summons for fare evasion. Apparently, I had caught a train into the…
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Narara Music Festival
How did you meet your significant other? We really met at a music festival over forty years ago. We had crossed paths before. We were both on a beach mission team at Ulladulla on the South Coast of NSW. We had a common friend, and I remember her singing one night in a coffee shop.…
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The Last Day in Antarctica
If you could relive one day from your past, which day would it be and why? If I could relive one day from my past, it would be our last day in Antarctica. It was the culmination of a trip we had saved towards for fifteen years, a celebration of a significant birthday for my…
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When You Realise You’re the Adult
What’s a moment when you realized you were officially an adult? Adulthood is a series of progressions. You get your driver’s licence and discover a new freedom. You vote for the first time. You start work and begin finding your way in the world. You move out of home, get married, perhaps buy your first…
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Trust the Hunch
If you had a time machine and could send just one messageto your past self, what would it say? If I had a time machine and could send just one message to my younger self, it would be: Trust the hunch. Not because every instinct is right, or because careful thought does not matter. But…
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Where Do You See Grace?
Which author would you love to have dinner with? If I could have dinner with an author, I would choose Tim Winton. But not in a restaurant. I imagine fish and chips somewhere on the Western Australian coast, sitting outside with the ocean stretching away in front of us. And there would be one condition:…
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The Best $45 We Ever Spent
What is the best purchase you have ever made? The best purchase I ever made was our first dog. We were newly married and living in Lismore on the Northern Rivers. One day we looked through the local paper and saw an advertisement for border collie puppies on a farm near Kyogle. We drove out…
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Being Needed and Being Whole
What’s a chapter of your life you’d title “The Hard Years”— and what got you through it? People often say that a person’s forties can be the hardest years of their life. That was true for me. I would call that chapter The Hard Years. Not because everything collapsed, but because I came face to…
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Practical Compassion
What is one way you have grown this year? One way I have grown this year is by learning that compassion has to become practical. Over the years I have become increasingly aware of how much pressure some students carry. International students can carry loneliness, financial stress, uncertainty about accommodation, worries about family, the need…
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Recognising the Thread
What is something you wish you could tell your 20-year-old self? At 20, I thought life was a linear progression. You chose your path, dedicated yourself to it, and then walked it. The challenge was to make the right decision early, commit to it, and stay faithful. At 20, I knew what my passions were.…
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The Cost of Being Always Available
Write your guide to setting healthy boundaries in relationships. I am not sure I am qualified to write a guide to healthy boundaries, except as someone who learned them too slowly. For 20 years I was a parish minister. That meant working in a caring profession. People had real needs. Crises happened. There were weddings,…
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Toussaint
What’s a cultural tradition from another countrythat you wish existed in yours? The tradition I wish we had more strongly in Australia is not really Halloween. It is what sits behind it. In France, All Saints’ Day, or Toussaint, is still marked as a public holiday. Families visit cemeteries. They clean graves, place flowers, light…
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The Wealth of Less
What are the biggest benefits of minimalist living? My father started each day with a cup of tea. The cup was huge. Not quite a mixing bowl, but close. On it were the words: I’m not greedy, but I want enough. I never knew the story behind that cup, but I understood the joke. It…
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The Mystery of Grace
What’s a mystery from your own life that you’ve never solved? My father is ninety-six and still does not know why his mother left. He was seven years old. There was an argument in the kitchen. Plates and condiments went flying. His mother stormed out the door and walked up the road to stay with…
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When I Should Have Said No
Write about a time when you didn’t take action but wish you had. What would you do differently? When I was in theological college, I worked on weekends as a student minister in a church. My senior minister was very conservative, authoritarian, and very forceful in his opinions. At the time, we were building a…
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Letting the Day Wear Off
How do you unwind after a demanding day? First, I come home and take the dog to the local forest for a while. It is not really a forest. It is a park. But people call it The Forest, which makes it sound much more impressive. I throw the ball for her to catch. Not…
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Respect
Describe a positive thing a family member has done for you. About fifteen years ago, my siblings and I persuaded my parents to write down the story of their lives. Not memoirs. Not for publication. Just the memories and family truths that would otherwise disappear with them. They were reluctant, but they did it. What…
The Afterword 