The Afterword

Tag: family

  • The Wealth of Less

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    Peter
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    What are the biggest benefits of minimalist living? My father started each day with a cup of tea. The cup was huge. Not quite a mixing bowl, but close. On it were the words: I’m not greedy, but I want enough. I never knew the story behind that cup, but I understood the joke. It…

  • The Mystery of Grace

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    Peter
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    What’s a mystery from your own life that you’ve never solved? My father is ninety-six and still does not know why his mother left. He was seven years old. There was an argument in the kitchen. Plates and condiments went flying. His mother stormed out the door and walked up the road to stay with…

  • When I Should Have Said No

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    Peter
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    Write about a time when you didn’t take action but wish you had. What would you do differently? When I was in theological college, I worked on weekends as a student minister in a church. My senior minister was very conservative, authoritarian, and very forceful in his opinions. At the time, we were building a…

  • Letting the Day Wear Off

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    Peter
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    How do you unwind after a demanding day? First, I come home and take the dog to the local forest for a while. It is not really a forest. It is a park. But people call it The Forest, which makes it sound much more impressive. I throw the ball for her to catch. Not…

  • Respect

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    Peter
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    Describe a positive thing a family member has done for you. About fifteen years ago, my siblings and I persuaded my parents to write down the story of their lives. Not memoirs. Not for publication. Just the memories and family truths that would otherwise disappear with them. They were reluctant, but they did it. What…

  • What I Wanted at Five

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    Peter
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    When you were five, what did you want to be when you grew up? When I was five, I do not remember wanting to be anything in particular. No fireman, no astronaut, no train driver. What I do remember is wanting to be out of school. I can still remember walking to school with a…

  • Modes of Encounter

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    Peter
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    You’re going on a cross-country trip. Airplane, train, bus, car, or bike? Every trip says something about the person taking it. That’s what I think. Not in a grand psychological sense. Just in the small way choices reveal us. The pragmatist books the plane. The romantic takes the train. The free spirit wants the car…

  • The Question on Repeat

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    Peter
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    What is one question you hate to be asked? Explain. My current most-hated question is, “So—when are you going to retire?” My father asks it every time I see him. He’s ninety-six, and he asks it with the casual confidence of a man who thinks this is a normal question, like commenting on the weather.…

  • What He Needed Wasn’t a Lecture

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    Peter
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    What advice would I give my teenage self? I don’t think I’d give him a grand speech. I’d try to be a person he could trust. Older me: You don’t need a lecture.Teenage me: Then what do I need?Older me: People who will listen properly. People with wisdom. People who take you seriously and help…

  • The Gift I Didn’t Expect

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    Peter
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    Share one of the best gifts you’ve ever received. My grandfather died when I was seventeen. It was an industrial accident, and it came out of the blue. One minute he was there, the next minute he wasn’t. He died the day before I stared university, so the next few weeks were hard. Grieving on…

  • P Plates, No Plates

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    Peter
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    Have you ever unintentionally broken the law? At seventeen I spent a summer working in a used car yard. I’d only just got my licence, so I was on my P plates—back when they were wired onto the number plate, long before magnetic ones made life easy. The boss told me I could take whatever…

  • The Shape of a Conventional Life

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    Peter
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    What were your parents doing at your age? At my age, my father had been retired for about eight years. He’d spent decades as a civilian in the Australian Navy—dockyard work, public service, a steady and conventional path. But he didn’t retire because he ran out of things to do. He retired because he ran…

  • Dream Home

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    Peter
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    Write about your dream home. I have never really dreamed about a home. Maybe that’s because I value other things. Maybe it’s because I’ve been out of the market for most of my life. More likely it’s because a home, for me, isn’t meant to carry the weight of aspiration. A home embodies values. It…

  • The Day Radio Beat Homework

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    Peter
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    You get some great, amazingly fantastic news. What’s the first thing you do? I tell the right person first. Not by email. Not by text. No social media announcements. If it’s truly great news, it deserves a voice. It deserves someone on the other end who can hear it properly — and share the moment…

  • The Paperwork That Didn’t Matter

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    Peter
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    Something on your “to-do list” that never gets done Every day I tell myself I’m going to clean up the piles of paper on my desk. Most mornings start with the same small act of optimism: I write out a to-do list and work through what I can. Then the next day arrives and that…

  • Two Kinds of Leisure

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    Peter
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    What do you enjoy doing most in your leisure time? I’ve realised I don’t really have one kind of leisure. I have two—quiet rest and active rest—and I seem to need both. Quiet rest is where my mind gets room to breathe. That’s mostly writing. Not writing to impress anyone, or to prove something, or…

  • Five Kinds of Fun

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    Peter
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    List five things you do for fun. Body fun: I’m an active person. Sport is fun for me, especially football — not just the contest, but the camaraderie of being part of a cohesive team. The best moments are when everything just clicks and you start playing attractive football without forcing it. Mind fun: I…

  • Friday Night Makeover

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    Peter
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    If you could make your pet understand one thing, what would it be? You look beautiful when you let us brush you. Some households do Friday night footy. We do Friday night brush the dog (I know — we live on the edge). Our dog has a beautiful coat — dark on top, but with…

  • The Calm at Our Feet

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    Peter
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    The Calm at Our Feet I think my favourite animal is the one that helps me identify what I’m longing for. That’s why it’s dogs. And why, if I’m honest, it’s Nia. She’s a black seal border collie who turned two recently, and she is equal parts joy and steadiness. Give her a basketball and…

  • House Rules for Online Communication

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    Peter
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    In what ways do you communicate online? Online communication, for me, isn’t a toolbox so much as a building: same address, different rooms, different dynamics, different outcomes. Email: This is the study. The good reading lamp. The filing cabinet. It is very adult. Everything said here can be printed, forwarded, rediscovered in 2029, and used…