How do you define success in life?
I have a friend who worked for many years in a busy management role. When she retired, her initial reaction was, ‘What was that all about?’
Another friend retired and moved to a lovely beachside community. But his first few years of retirement were surprisingly stressful. He struggled with the question, ‘Who am I now that nobody needs me? When I no longer have a role?’
Two different questions. One about the meaning of what we have achieved. The other about who we are when those achievements are behind us.
For much of our adult lives, we’re introduced by what we do. Our occupation becomes part of our identity. Sometimes it’s difficult to separate the two. But eventually the title disappears. The office belongs to someone else. The responsibilities pass to another generation. Life goes on, often surprisingly well without us.
So what remains? Our relationships. Our character. Our curiosity. Our generosity. Our capacity to contribute to the lives of others.
It seems to me that success is found in these things, rather than simply in what we have achieved. The interesting question is whether these qualities have been growing throughout our working lives or have been neglected in the pursuit of professional success.
There’s nothing wrong with ambition or achievement. But a successful career and a successful life are not necessarily the same thing.
And there’s an interesting paradox. Sometimes the greatest evidence of our success is that others no longer need us. We’ve helped them grow, develop confidence and become capable of doing things for themselves.
As I approach retirement myself, these questions are becoming more personal. I’m beginning to think that success is less about what I’ve accomplished and more about the person I’ve become along the way.
After all, the most important things about us should never have depended on our job descriptions.
When the job title disappears, I hope there will still be someone worth knowing underneath it.
How do you define success in life?
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