If you could relive one year of your life, which one would it be?
If I could relive one year of my life, I would choose our first year of marriage.
It was an exciting year, but there was too much change too quickly. I had just finished my studies and begun work as a parish minister. Then we moved to a rural town more than 700 kilometres from home. My wife left her job expecting to find another, only to face high unemployment. It took eighteen months before she got a break.
In many ways, that period was the making of both of us. I do not want to undo any of it. What I would change is the pace.
One of my weaknesses is assuming that one more thing is always achievable. One more responsibility. One more transition. And often it is. It gets done. But getting through something is not the same as having the space to experience it properly.
Looking back, I would have liked to finish my studies, get married, and spend a year simply being married. Then begin ministry. Then later make the move away from home. Sometimes there are simply too many right things happening at once.
Every major change asks us to grow. Marriage asks us to become a spouse. Ministry asks us to inhabit a vocation. Moving asks us to make a new place home.
Change can happen quickly, but formation cannot. If I could relive that year, I would not choose a different life. I would simply slow it down and give each transition enough room not merely to happen, but to shape us.
The Afterword 
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