What could you do differently?
I’ve spent a lot of my life assuming friendship will take care of itself.
Not because I don’t value it, but because in busy seasons it slips into the margins. Friendship becomes something that happens around work, between responsibilities, when there’s anything left.
Lately I’ve been thinking about doing it differently.
Some of my friends from my youth are now retired. Their days have opened up, and it feels like an invitation: we could meet for lunch. Not a rare reunion—just a table, unhurried conversation, the kind of time that reminds you what matters.
I also have friends overseas. They’re not great at replying, but that doesn’t need to stop me writing. I’m learning to send emails as a gift, not a transaction. A simple reminder that I am thinking of them.
And then there are the others—people gathered over decades who come to mind when I’m walking or in the middle of some activity. The change I want is simple: when someone surfaces, I want to reach out rather than just feel quietly grateful and move on. Maybe a quick text message or an email.
This isn’t a new project. It’s a small shift: giving friendship enough structure to actually happen. Because life doesn’t really settle—it just keeps moving.
So this is what I want to do differently: make friendship more intentional than incidental. A lunch in the diary. An email sent. A message that says, in effect, you are not forgotten
The Afterword 
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