When Character Reveals Itself

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Are you a good judge of character?

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I’m a good judge of culture.

I can read the atmosphere of a group—the stories they tell, the heroes they celebrate, the contradictions they live with, the things everyone knows but no one names. If you pay attention, ask questions, and take time, culture reveals itself. My intuition works well there.

Individuals are harder.

I’m good at spotting competence. Intelligence and capability tend to announce themselves. Character is slower and more discreet.

This year, a few people lied to me and I didn’t see it. One was impressive and highly capable, but flawed nonetheless. I saw the competence clearly; the dishonesty took me by surprise. It was only later, when they came to me out of shame, that the truth emerged.

Around the same time, someone else asked for help during a health scare. This was a smoke screen, In reality, they wanted something and lied to get it. When things unravelled, they returned and told the truth. We helped them.

I tend to take people at face value. I am naturally compassionate and inclined to trust, and that has its risks. I misread people at times—not disastrously, but enough to matter.

I know I could harden my instincts. I could become more suspicious, more guarded, quicker to question motives.

But I choose the risk.

I choose compassion, even if t makes me vulnerable. I choose to meet people where they are, knowing that character often reveals itself slowly.